A Story for Valentine's Day

This is a review of how my husband and I met and our engagement. It's REALLY long. Sorry about that. Also, sorry for any misspellings and bad grammar. I got REALLY tired at the end of this. ^^;

At the end of year 2000 I got some software (not Macromedia) that allowed me to make websites without any HTML knowledge. I was gleefull, and immediately set out to make myself a website. After some trial and error, I got a website up.

During this time I started a search. I wanted to find other Christians who liked Anime. I'm not sure which search engine I was using (either AOL or MSN), but my first two results were "Zack and Yamcha's Neglected Anime Characters" and "Anime Angels". Of the two, Anime Angels looked more "Christian", so I went with them.

Anime Angels was nice, but it was more community than art, and what I wanted was artists. So I went back to searching. I started searching again. It was very troubling, because I could just not find any other Christian anime artists. But "Zack and Yamcha's Neglected Anime Characters" kept popping back up. Finally I gave up and clicked on the link.

I remember searching the site and not finding anything "Christian". (Mike swears up and down that it was mentioned in his profile page...) Despite this lack of "Christian" material, the site was pretty nice. The layout was done fairly well and the art was pretty good. So I emailed the owner. It was a really short email and went something like "Hey, nice website and art. Keep it up. :) "

He and I had AOL at the time (ah, the days of ignorance!), so when he opened his email, he saw my AOL screen name pop up on his buddy list. He must have been pretty bored at the time, 'cause he IMed me and we started chatting.

Here's where the crazy stuff starts happening. I hadn't chatted with him for very long before I was hit with this incredible feeling. I wasn't sure what it was at the time, being as I'd never felt anything like it, and to be honest it terrified me. For a long long time I struggled with it and I actually started offline (computer) journals at some point to help me deal with this feeling.

Poor poor Mike became the brunt of my unknown feeling. I'm afraid he got quite a "verbal beating" from me because of this. We didn't get along too well at first. (In fact, we actually outright FAUGHT with each other!)

It took me a while, but eventually I figured out what I was feeling. Once I did, I hated myself all the more! I was feeling love. LOVE! Love for a guy whose voice I didn't know and for a guys face I'd never seen in person.

I can't remember exactly how it went, but there was a motto I had (at the time) that went something like "Don't listen to your heart, it lies." I firmly did not believe in "falling in love", and I found "love" itself to be an incredibly questionable idea. So you can see that I did not have a state of mind that lent itself towards "love" and infatuation, much less some stupid online romance.

At the same time, I knew Mike didn't feel the same way for me. I knew he didn't love me beyond a friend. I was honest with myself and realized he probably would never love me. And even if he could or did, what would be the point? We'd never see each other. It was a dead end romance-- love-- in my mind. It was stupid.

So I decided I was going to be a friend, the best friend I could be. I vowed to never let my feeling for him interfere with any good advice I had about women, love, and romance. And I didn't. I didn't let my feelings get the better of me, even when I was dying inside when he talked about women he was thinking about having relationships with. It was hard, but I did it.

We were friends for two years.

I don't know when, but at some point Mike started liking me. I don't think he ever felt for me as strongly as I did for him, but he did feel something. But after two years of friendship, it was rather hard for me to believe he would like me. But after some pushing from mutual friends, I told him I liked him. It was incredibly embaressing, and even know I blush mentioning it. (It just sounds so dorky. ~_~; )

Now around this time, my parents decided it was time to ship my sister and I off to the Grandparents in Florida so they could take a vacation (from us). I passed this news on to Mike, and he suggested that we might be able to meet. Well, I didn't think that would work out at all, since I didn't drive and I doubted he lived anywhere near where I was going.

Well, it turned out that Mike lived an hour away from my Grandparents and had his own car so he could drive and meet us. (What WERE the chances of that?) So we arranged to meet each other. And that's how we ended up meeting face to face for the first time.

When my parents came to pick us up (this is a 12 hour journal, so they stayed a day at my grandparents before leaving), they got to meet Mike. I was personally delighted, because Mike was meeting some very important members of my family all at the once. If they liked him, or at least thought he was safe, I figured he couldn't be too bad.

And they must have seen something trustworthy in him, because they let him drive my sister and I to the city. Honestly, I can't believe they did it either. They'd met him once and they were letting him drive off with their only two children. I can only conclude that my parents trusted me implicetly. o_o

Switch back to my home, Mike and I are chatting (which we do almost every day now) and he mentioned this Anime Convention in Maryland that's happening in August. He planned on going, he already got a list of people who would go with him to share the costs and the driving time. Nice, I think, hope he has a good time.

Well, then he offered that I come along. I honestly did not take the offer seriously at first. I couldn't drive and had no money, how the heck was I suppose to get there? But he was being serious so I did the only thing I could: I asked my parents.

Now, the Convention just happened to fall on my birthday. It also just happened that it was my 18th birthday. (It was also very convenient for me that I hadn't asked for anything major on my birthdya in years.) I didn't actually think I had any hope convincing my parents to take me to Maryland, but I figured if I was going to ask, I better be convincing. So I laid it all out to them and let them think it over.

By some miracle my parents agreed! Let me tell you, I was absolutely flabbergasted that they did too. It would be a 1,000$ plus trip to get over there... it had never occured to me that they'd seriously consider my offer.

So off to the convention we go. There Mike and I had... an interesting time. He was suppose to take me out on a date or something like that (I can't remember exactly how it went), but he never did. (I remember being upset with him over that.)

However, some romantic stuff happened between us anyway. We ended up in the hotel resturant all by ourselves. Mike and I danced to the orchastra music playing. Later when we were sitting outside and talking, one of the waitresses stopped us and giggled and said she'd seen us dancing and wasn't that adorable? xD

Anyway!

Shortly after that, Mike went to college. Good ol' Bob Jones University! We were sorta dating at the time. I wouldn't REALLY call it dating, because I recall that Mike was still open to "other possibilities".This was a difficult time for me, I didn't want to force Mike into a relationship with me if he really wasn't interested or ready. At the same time, I felt he should make up his mind. Did he want me or not? :-/

BJU really took a lot out of Mike. He was working as many hours as he could as a pot-scrubber so he could pay his way through college. While he was working so hard, he kept hearing stories of people getting anonymous money gifts to pay for their college tuition. He was confused, because he knew God had wanted him there, and yet God didn't seem too interested in helping him stay.

So Christmas came around, and I asked my parents if Mike could stay at our place for the holidays. They said yes, so Mike drove down. It was a two week holiday. It turned into a 5 month stay.

Mike couldn't afford to go back to college (he had a 3,000$ debt he had to pay off before he could go back), but he couldn't go home either. He hated home and vowed never to go back. My parents took him in until he could figure out what to do.

It was suggested that Mike try to get into the Air Force. They had a nice fat bonus they were offering at the time to attract people, and it would be more than enough to pay off his debt. He wasn't too happy about the idea, because he'd never been a military type person. But he figured he didn't have many other options, and at least in the military he could get someone ELSE to pay for college. :P

But getting in wasn't easy. It took a while. And during this time, Mike and I got to really know each other. I remember clearly (well, as clearly as remembering ever is for me) cuddling with him and the couch. We were just sitting there and he asked "Hey, will you marry me?" (or something like that) and I said yes.

It was done very simply, very quietly. He didn't have a ring to give me, because he didn't have any money. But to me, that's a very sweet memory.

 A few weeks later, he was shipped off to boot camp.

I didn't tell ANYONE what he'd asked. In my mind, a proposal without a ring was like a car without battery. Sure you got the car, but you can't go anywhere with it. And honestly, I didn't think anyone would believe me if I told them he'd proposed but had no proof. So I kept quiet and waited.

When Mike graduated (from boot camp), he plotted with my mother to propose to me. He'd apparently had a pretty spiffy plan worked out. Unfortunately it completely fell apart because his grandma and mother prevented him from buying the ring on time. Not only that, my Mom had let it slip that he was trying to buy me a ring.

And my poor poor Dad. He was the ONLY ONE who didn't realize how serious the relationship with Mike and I had become. He didn't even know that Mike was going to propose to me. I don't think he was too happy about that, but it wasn't all my fault! Everyone else and my aunt KNEW what was going on. :P

In the end, Mike got the ring (though I ended up being there when he bought it) and proposed to me in the food court at the BX. My parents and sister were there, and I got my ring. Naturally I told everyone after that. :P

About 6 months later (most of which was spent states away from each other) we got married. I was 19 when we married, the first of all my friends. Mike was the first guy I ever fell head over heels for, my first date, my first boyfriend, and my first lover.

All in all, I think it turned out pretty well. :)