Tears always seemed like a weakness to me. As a teenager I cried when I was being illogical and unreasonable. I've always heard that tears are an emotional blackmail too. Some women even use them as a weapon (figuratively speaking). I didn't cry much when I was younger, and I liked how I had that level of control.
But now... now I just gotta admit it, I'm a weepy person. I cry when I'm talking about something sad, I cry when I'm angry, I cry when someone else is crying, I cry over sappy parts of movies and songs. And once I start going it's very difficult to stop.
I don't know how to deal with being a weepy person. It feels very awkward to me (yes, I get uncomfortable with myself when I start crying). I can't tell any more when it's ok to cry and when I just need to leave the room.
Mostly I just feel bad for Mike. I feel bad that I cry when I'm trying to talk about something serious. Crying when I'm trying to make a point just seems wrong to me. I just wanna say what I wanna say without all the waterworks. (And it's such an extra hassle too, since you need kleenex and you gotta pause to blow your nose and wipe your eyes. And tears are like glue on glasses to, so I spend 5-10 minutes after having to clean them off.)
Overall, I just don't like crying. My sister can turn her tears on and off. Even though I find that slightly... alarming... I wish I had that level of control. Just "flip a switch" and turn the tears off. It'd be nice.
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