That's right, it's our 4th year of marriage as of today! Wow, 4 years! And not only do we STILL love each other, we still like each other too!
What can I say about marriage after 4 years of it? (A lot apparently! LOL)
Marriage gets better with time. Long term marriage deepens love. Those first thrills at the beginning are NOTHING in comparison to the deep love of experience and selflessness that marriage produces. It's a shame people spend all their time focusing on the thrills of love when the deeper stuff is so much better.
Sex in marriage is equal in importance to communication. If you aren't doing both equally and frequently, your marriage will suffer. Never ever believe the lie that sex and communication are at odds with each other, or that you only need one and not the other. You *need both*.
Sex and making love are two different things. Sex is what animals do, making love is what people do. Making love does not always mean sex, but it's ALWAYS sexual! Making love is selfless, compassionate, and beautiful. Never settle for "plain sex" in marriage when you can be making love to each other!
You'll only get out of marriage what you put into it. So if you put in selfishness, fear, jealousy, hatred, and unfaithfulness in ANY degree, so will you reap. And not just a little reaping, but we're talking tons and tons more reaping! It's a very very scary thing.
So every effort must be made to put in selflessness, hope, contentedness, joy, and faithfulness. Because if you put in those things, so will you reap. And not just a little reaping, but we're talking tons and tons more reaping! And what a joy it is to see the good you put in come back to you ten fold!
And the most important thing to put into marriage: Forgiveness. Spouses aren't perfect, there's just no way they can do the right thing all the time. And many times we're going to have to forgive them not once, not twice, but continually. In the words of Jesus:
"Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?"
Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times." Matthew 18: 21-22
Speaking of Jesus, He needs to be in a good marriage too! He is the ultimate unchanging moral center in a marriage. He protects, guides, chastises, and gives a deeper joy for the couple. When He is the center everything else falls into place.
Christ doesn't just keep a marriage alive either, He makes it THRIVE. And isn't that what we all want in our marriage, in the end? Not just one that "gets by" but one that's alive and always improving? Christ makes that happen in the most amazing way. So don't leave Him out!
And that's all I've learned in 4 years. Imagine what I'll have learned in 8 years?! HA! I'm looking forward to it!
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